


Six Years: Ex Ante

by marreena



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Backstory, Character Study, F/F, Gen, Tres Horny Girls AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-27 04:01:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10801275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marreena/pseuds/marreena
Summary: "So, what led you to Phandalin, Princess?" Lup asks, kicking her boots off and putting her feet too close to the fire in Julia's opinion."Not much. What about you?" Julia shrugs and accepts the bottle that Lup tosses her way.Lup mimics her shrug, "Not much, either, I guess."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a bit of a project i'm working on to fully flesh out the girls but basically a bunch of vignettes on the girls' backstory and what led them to Phandalin 
> 
> just a warning: this fic will deal with mentions of suicide, self harm, established character death, and dysphoria and other stuff and i'll line it out each part but this part in particular does mention suicide

“Julia, you don’t have to leave.”

Julia pauses, feeling her heart stop and the sinking numbness and pain rise up in her left arm again, but then continues packing her traveler’s pack anyway. There’s not much to put in it—all given to her by Annie and the other’s in town. She doesn’t own much anymore, not after it all burned up in the fire bombs. 

Her hand reaches up to tuck hair behind her ear, a ghosting knee-jerk reaction, but her hair is already pulled back and her hand freezes when pain shoots up her arm to her spine, a burning fire and then a chill. She glances to her left, but keeps her gaze downcast, barely able to meet Annie’s gaze. 

Her dark eyes are nearly filled with tears and her arms are tightly tucked against her body. She doesn’t want Julia to go. 

She knows that Julia shouldn’t go. 

Julia just…cannot stay any longer, not with her own town half burnt and abandoned a mile away. 

She feigns a smile, it’s an ugly thing but she tries and hopes that maybe Annie would buy it and feel better and not worry about Julia. “I’ve overstayed my welcome. I gotta get back out there.”

“Julia,” she protests and leaves the doorway to sit on her bed. The bed that she was stuck in for nearly a week as her leg healed, a bed she stayed in even longer after she could stand, unable to find a reason to. 

That sick feeling still rises up in her chest, and she forces herself to start packing again and look away from Annie. She has to get out of here. 

“Julia,” she tries again and lays a hand on her pack to stop her, “you can stay here as long as you need—as long as you want. You don’t have to leave.” 

There’s an unspoken, underlying, _what happened was horrible, Julia, Raven’s Roost is gone and you lost your home, but you have a home here if need be_. So many words are dripping out of Annie, but she doesn’t say them, afraid of spooking Julia anymore than she already is, than she has been for the past weeks. 

“I need to get my leg looked at,” she offers, aiming to appease her. “Might even get it runed up and fixed,” she bites out, the words dry and unappealing even on her own tongue. Her own words bother her at this point and she wishes desperately that she didn’t have to speak anymore. 

“We can call in a healer, you know that,” Annie protests, a treble sneaking into her voice. 

_I can’t be here anymore_. _I can’t be next to my burnt down home_.

_I can’t spend my entire life waiting for Magnus to come back_. 

“I’ll be back in a month,” she promises, and that one, she does feel a bit behind the words. Not a promise she will die to keep, but one that she aims to. 

Annie lets out a shaky breath and the tears that trail down her face are stale at this point. How many times had they cried in the past weeks? Julia has cried enough that her face has rubbed raw. “I look forward to it,” Annie says and finally do her words match Julia’s. “We all will,” she adds and looks up at Julia as she slings her pack over her good shoulder. 

“I expect some of Luca’s biscuits when I get back.” 

Annie laughs a little, choked back with tears, “Of course, I’ll tell her to have some ready every Sunday.” 

She stands, still shaking a little, wiping away her tears, “Julia, you’ll always have a home here, and the people here, all of us in Charlas, we’ll miss you.” She pauses for a second as words die on her tongue and Julia offers none of her own. For a second there’s a decision in her eyes, a split pain, and then she looks Julia straight in the eye, “Julia, just promise me this isn’t you being like an old dog running off to die.” 

A burning heat runs up her left arm again as a rush of pain floods her chest, “Annie, I’ll be back. I promise you.” 

She sets her jaw, “I won’t let you go until you promise you—you  _won’t_.” A small, weak barrier flies up blocking the door to the small bedroom. 

Julia didn’t even know that Annie knew magic. 

The barrier flickers for a good couple seconds as if it was ready to fold in on itself, shaking and shuddering like Annie. 

Julia puts her hand on Annie’s shoulder and pulls her in, “I won’t kill myself. I just need to go out and find a reason to live,” she admits and the words feel acrid coming out. Saying them out loud, and letting another hear them, the words feel wrong. 

Annie buries her face in Julia’s chest for the hug and lets out a shuddering laugh, “I wish I was taller, Jul, I don’t really wanna motor boat you.” 

Julia snorts and lets herself shudder and bury her own face in Annie’s dark, curls. “I don’t mind it too much, if we’re still being honest here,” and she presses a kiss to the top of her head when they part, Annie still desperately trying to wipe away her tears and not look at tear tracks on Julia’s chest. 

“I love you,” Annie says, like it’s the only think she can manage at this point. 

“Love you too, Annie. I’ll be back,” she promises and turns for the door. The pain of her arm flaring all the way to her nape when she opens the door with the wrong arm.  

Julia hopes that she can find a caravan heading for Rockport, she doesn’t think she can make it there on foot anymore.  


	2. Hecuba: Three Years Pre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow, she always goes back to the sea.

Hecuba is digging through her pockets looking for the gold to cover renting the sail boat when the owner, Arin, just slaps the key on the table in front of her. 

“Left again, didn’t he?” they take a large drag out of their pipe, largely uninterested in her personal life, but caring nonetheless. It seems to be the general attitude in the entire clan nowadays, no compassion but Hecuba cannot be one to talk. 

She shrugs and still throws two gold on the table regardless, “Yeah, probably’ll be back the end of the week.” 

They nod and take the gold, regardless, “Course, think he’s looking for a job somewhere else?”

Hecuba scoffs and leans against the counter, “One could hope.” No longer affected by the fact that her own personal life has now moved passed idle gossip among the clan and to just common small talk

“Kids fine? The little one is what, two now? He fuckin’ runs like it.” 

“Mooks is doing fine—had a cough for the last week and scared the shit out of me. Healers weren’t doing shit,” Hecuba shifts away and rolls her shoulder. A bit too early for this sorta thing in her own opinion. “Better now, though. With his uncle now.” 

They nod, “Good, good.” They gesture towards the boat, “You know, the rules right, Hec?” 

She snorts, “Course I do. Wasn’t born yesterday.” Nor is this her first time taking off with a boat, all alone.

Of course, it does take her a bit too long trying to untie the boat from the dock and kick it off. She hopes that Arin had went back to whatever they had been absorbed in reading before she had came up. Especially when she had nearly not been able to jump and make the boat as it floated away. 

Sailing was easier, though. 

The sail drops and the wind immediately catches easily. Letting the ropes run through her hands was even easier as she made sure she was a decent ways off the coast and near a drop off before she ties back the sail. The anchor is the easiest. 

Then she lies in the middle of the boat. 

It’s not even half an hour past dawn and the sun is already bearing down on her, so she strips off her shirt and pants and continues lying there. Not like anyone was gonna be checking on her and not like anyone in the commune particularly cares about nudity. 

She had originally planned on setting out a pole to make it seem like that maybe she was doing something out here, but truth is she just came to sleep. Maybe it’s her getting older or her midlife crisis but she can barely sleep without the rocking of the ocean anymore. 

Hecuba doesn’t think about her kids. Mookie who’s still got a bit of a cough and just learned how to run, keeping Hecuba on her toes. Mavis who’s gone through all the books in their house—not that much of an accomplishment, she has maybe four to her name and Merle might have one up on her—and has moved onto going through the neighbor’s collection. Also, a quite fruitless venture considering that no one in this commune seems interested in those things. 

Hecuba rubs the tattoo on her chest, a rune of dedication to Pan, and doesn’t think that she’s certain neither of her kids will end up following Pan. 

It’s their choice after all, and really, that is all that Hecuba wishes for her children, is that they’re able to choose their own path, especially when she never did so for herself, and the wedding ring she keeps in a cup in the house is proof of that.


	3. Lup: Two Years Pre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's easier to let someone go than to ever give them a chance to.

“I got a letter from the University.”

Lup ducks her head out from underneath the carriage after hitting the axel one last time with the wrench, “Oh fuck it, can you just fix this axel with your magic?” 

Despite the topic being switched away from her own, Lette brightens up and offers her a teasing smile, “I thought you said you wanted to put some good ol’ elbow grease into it?”

She laughs just a bit and cocks her head, the small amount of bleached hair that’s not pulling back falls into Lette’s face and she pushes it back, the hair only ends up staying back because of the grease that’s covering both of their hands. Lette smiles at her, ungodly sappy and teasing, poking her in the leg with just her middle finger when Lup does not respond. 

Lup scoffs, “Didn’t think an axel would try and  _kill_ me, Lettie. Plus, I need the practice—you could do this job in your sleep.” 

She nods and teasingly runs her finger along the outside of Lup’s thigh and despite herself, she feels her tense up and warm with the touch. “Do you want me to straighten it?” 

“I don’t want you to make anything straight, babe,” she snorts and uses the scooter that she’s on to roll over closer to Lette and put her head in her lap. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” she laughs and leans forward to kiss her on the nose, so soft that Lup almost doesn’t feel it. She continues running her fingers through Lup’s hair and the goose bumps rise up all over her body at that. It isn’t fair that something can melt her so easily. She doesn’t even care that more oil is getting into her hair “But I can fix it, if you want me to,” she offers again. 

Lup opens her eyes and grins up at her, “Gimme three more tries plus one and then I’ll call it quits.” 

She nods and leans down to actually kiss her this time, upside down and clumsy, but both of them part with a grin on their lips. “Course, babe, but I’m just gonna get so _bored_. I already finished banging out the damage on the front. It’d be so easily to let me fix it, and then we can go back to the tavern, wash up, and well…it’s your night,” she winks and that’s the last thing Lup sees before she ducks back under the caravan. 

The axel isn’t a hard fix. She’s just not strong enough to exert enough force to mold the axel back into its correct shape. Still, Lup wraps the leather around the bar and pulls.

“Didya…Didya hear me, Lup?” Lette tries again, clearing her throat, and she ignores the tremor in her voice.

“I know it’s my night, Lettie, I already know where I’m gonna have ya,” Lup laughs and nearly flings herself out from under the caravan when she lost grip of the leather and hit herself in the face. She groans and rubs her now bruising nose. 

“You okay?” she asks, and her hand is hesitant on her ankle. 

“Yeah just broke my nose is all,” she mutters. 

“Need a rag?” 

She pulls away her hand and nearly lights a flame to see but only barely manages to restrain herself. Last thing she needs is causing an explosion underneath the undercarriage. “No blood, I’m good,” she snorts and rubs her nose again before getting back to work. 

Lette clears her throat, “Nah, Lup, I was, uh, talking ‘bout the University.” 

“Oh, um, what about them?” Lup tries to force her arms to not lock up, she just needs to keep on working, but still the cold chill was working its way through her body. 

“I got a letter from them and they want me to come and do some research for them,” Lette explains and _god_  Lup wished she didn’t sound terrified, especially as terrified as Lup felt. 

She doesn’t like being scared, though, so Lup does what she does best: ignores, blocks, and files away all those emotions for later.

“You sent them your notes on selective transmutation versus illusions?” 

“Yeah! They want me to continue working on that there.” 

“I thought you were collecting information on the road.” 

“Yeah! I was, I still am, I just, I think studying at University for a bit where I can discuss with other scholars will be good for me. Lup, I, I feel like I’m on to something here,” Lup pushes out from under the caravan and sits up to lean against the side, bracing her legs out so she doesn’t go sliding.

Lette freezes and watches her, her big eyes doing her no favors in looking absolutely terrified. “Can you fix it?” Lup shrugs to the big lump of metal behind her. 

She nods quickly and places her hand against the caravan, and just like that, it’s fixed. Took Lup nearly an hour while Lette can take seconds to fix things. Sometimes Lup wishes she studied transmutations—it’s got more uses than just destroying shit. 

Lette drops her hands to her lap and starts fiddling, before looking back up at her, “I want you to come with me.”

“What?” she gapes and suddenly that dulling numb pain she had been encouraging in her chest changes and morphs. 

Lette scootches a bit closer and grabs Lup's hand despite the grease covering them both, “I’m going to be getting an apartment in Neverwinter and I wanted to know if you’d come with me.” 

Oh, god, maybe it was numbing that was still in her, but now _painfully_ numbing, overwhelming and all encompassing to the point where it feels even pointless to speak. “Why?” she manages.

For her sake, Lette laughs, ignoring her own shaky voice, “I love ya and I wanna be with ya.” She brings up Lup’s hand and kisses her knuckles, and then immediately tries to wipe the grease off of her mouth with her sleeve. “You’re smart too! I bet you could also get a job there!”

“I want to be able to wake up with you, go to the market and get some food for us to cook later in the day. I kinda even wanna try gardening—give potion making a try. I wanna try so much but I can’t do it on the road—and I wanna do it all _with you_ , Lup.” 

Lup smiles at her, letting her aimlessly turn the rings on her fingers, “Course, babycake. I’ll try.” 

Lette smiles back at her and for a moment, Lup believes her and sees the world and life they could have in the future where she wouldn’t leave her. Lette kisses her with that vision in her mind, a future, and when she pulls back she has tears in her eyes so Lup has to push her a bit. 

“Come on, don’t get all sappy! Now how long do we have on the road?” 

 

* * *

 

“Where’s Lette?” Nev asks, loading up the final cargo. 

Lup lets her shoulders drop and then shrugs, “I don’t know. Guess she found a place to stay in Neverwinter.” 

Nev looks at her like they don’t believe a word out of her mouth and then some, “And she didn’t ask you?”

“Nah.”

Nev whistles and gets Lup’s bag for her, “Weird as hell. Well, you always got people for you here, ya know, Lup?” 

She doesn’t but Lup nods, “Course, thanks, Neva.”  

**Author's Note:**

> as always hmu @[trustlup](http://trustlup.tumblr.com)


End file.
